HELP ME CREATE MY PATCH!!


    Jun 18 2007 | 3:40 pm
    hay everyone im currently workin on a project for my university using max msp!
    I hav no idea bout how to make my patch!!
    Im using beer bottles to trigger samples! the way im doing this is that i Have a mic hooked up and wen i hit a beer bottle with a stick! i want that certain pitch of the hittin of the beer bottle to trigger a sample! each beer bottle wil have different ammount of water in it to give them all different pitches! now i need a patch which will first measure the pitch so i know wat pitch to assign to what sample! and secondly i need the patch to have a trigger that wen it recognizes the pitch it will recognize and trigger the sample it has been assigned too! so pretty much use the beer bottles as a drum kit! wen i tap a bottle the microphone will send a signal through max to trigger a sample!!
    who can help me??

    • Jun 18 2007 | 3:55 pm
      is this a joke?
    • Jun 18 2007 | 4:06 pm
      First thing you will need to do is go through
      the first 10 or so tutorials. Once you do that
      you can look at an object called fiddle~. It will
      do the pitch detection of the bottles. Another option
      would be bonk~. But definitely go through the tutorials
      first, it seems like a lot of work, but in the long
      run it will save you a lot of time.
      Anthony
      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Mattijs Kneppers
      Date: Monday, June 18, 2007 10:57 am
      Subject: [maxmsp] Re: HELP ME CREATE MY PATCH!!
      >
      > is this a joke?
      > --
      > SmadSteck - http://www.smadsteck.nl
      > Hard- and software for interactive audiovisual sampling
      >
    • Jun 18 2007 | 4:14 pm
      3rd Party objects which could do this - - - - Bonk~ and fiddle~ or pitch~
      Bonk is more suited to noisy sounds and is trainable, pitch~ and fiddle~ are
      looking for clean pitches.
      Do a search at maxobjects.com
      On 6/18/07 8:40 AM, "pdotr" wrote:
      >
      > hay everyone im currently workin on a project for my university using max msp!
      >
      > I hav no idea bout how to make my patch!!
      >
      > Im using beer bottles to trigger samples! the way im doing this is that i Have
      > a mic hooked up and wen i hit a beer bottle with a stick! i want that certain
      > pitch of the hittin of the beer bottle to trigger a sample! each beer bottle
      > wil have different ammount of water in it to give them all different pitches!
      > now i need a patch which will first measure the pitch so i know wat pitch to
      > assign to what sample! and secondly i need the patch to have a trigger that
      > wen it recognizes the pitch it will recognize and trigger the sample it has
      > been assigned too! so pretty much use the beer bottles as a drum kit! wen i
      > tap a bottle the microphone will send a signal through max to trigger a
      > sample!!
      >
      > who can help me??
    • Jun 18 2007 | 4:42 pm
      if only the first ten tutorials would contain this one:
      "punctuation beside exclamation and question marks, or: how not to end your sentence!!!!!"
      cheers,
      micha
    • Jun 18 2007 | 4:55 pm
      Another word of advice: If the expectation of your
      professor is that the project should be your own
      work, you ought to remember that she or he probably
      also reads this list.... :-)
      Seriously - the tutorials first. Absolutely. And
      fiddle~ and bonk~ is probably the only non-vanilla
      stuff you'll need.
    • Jun 18 2007 | 5:07 pm
      speaking as a professor, let me answer for you in your language, my
      man:
      maybe you should read the tutorials! and the example patches!
      because chances are yur teeecher is reading your list posting and
      shaking his head! you should give it a try and just work at it! and
      post the patch here if your reeely reely stumped! cause we are not so
      down on doing yur homework 4 uuuuuuuu!
      ok, serious answer here:
      break it down. make a patch which acts as control (good numbers from
      beer bottles) and a patch that acts as playback (samples played when
      you provide a bang or #s.)
      too hard still?
      for pitch tracking, the easiest way to do it- which is still NOT
      REEELY EEASY BUT WHUT GUD STUFF IN LIFE IZ? is a third party object
      called fiddle~. google 'fiddle msp' and you'll find it.
      for sample playback, try sfplay~. for file picking, look at ubumenu
      and the 'autocomplete prefix' thingy.
      if this is not enough, go outside and drink. you're never going to
      pass. might as well go get loaded.
      On Jun 18, 2007, at 11:40 AM, pdotr wrote:
      >
      > hay everyone im currently workin on a project for my university
      > using max msp!
      >
      > I hav no idea bout how to make my patch!!
      >
      > Im using beer bottles to trigger samples! the way im doing this is
      > that i Have a mic hooked up and wen i hit a beer bottle with a
      > stick! i want that certain pitch of the hittin of the beer bottle
      > to trigger a sample! each beer bottle wil have different ammount of
      > water in it to give them all different pitches! now i need a patch
      > which will first measure the pitch so i know wat pitch to assign to
      > what sample! and secondly i need the patch to have a trigger that
      > wen it recognizes the pitch it will recognize and trigger the
      > sample it has been assigned too! so pretty much use the beer
      > bottles as a drum kit! wen i tap a bottle the microphone will send
      > a signal through max to trigger a sample!!
      >
      > who can help me??
      >
    • Jun 18 2007 | 6:42 pm
      Joshua, your condescending tone is not necessary.
      Simple advice or "do the tutorials" would suffice.
      Of course we always want to encourage people to take
      the initiative and not be lazy, but you should avoid
      introducing negativity to the forum.
      Anthony
      ----- Original Message -----
      From: joshua goldberg
      Date: Monday, June 18, 2007 12:29 pm
      Subject: Re: [maxmsp] HELP ME CREATE MY PATCH!!
      > speaking as a professor, let me answer for you in your language,
      > my
      > man:
      >
      > maybe you should read the tutorials! and the example patches!
      > because chances are yur teeecher is reading your list posting and
      > shaking his head! you should give it a try and just work at it!
      > and
      > post the patch here if your reeely reely stumped! cause we are not
      > so
      > down on doing yur homework 4 uuuuuuuu!
      >
      > ok, serious answer here:
      >
      > break it down. make a patch which acts as control (good numbers
      > from
      > beer bottles) and a patch that acts as playback (samples played
      > when
      > you provide a bang or #s.)
      >
      > too hard still?
      >
      > for pitch tracking, the easiest way to do it- which is still NOT
      > REEELY EEASY BUT WHUT GUD STUFF IN LIFE IZ? is a third party
      > object
      > called fiddle~. google 'fiddle msp' and you'll find it.
      >
      > for sample playback, try sfplay~. for file picking, look at
      > ubumenu
      > and the 'autocomplete prefix' thingy.
      >
      > if this is not enough, go outside and drink. you're never going
      > to
      > pass. might as well go get loaded.
      >
      > On Jun 18, 2007, at 11:40 AM, pdotr wrote:
      >
      > >
      > > hay everyone im currently workin on a project for my university
      > > using max msp!
      > >
      > > I hav no idea bout how to make my patch!!
      > >
      > > Im using beer bottles to trigger samples! the way im doing this
      > is
      > > that i Have a mic hooked up and wen i hit a beer bottle with a
      > > stick! i want that certain pitch of the hittin of the beer
      > bottle
      > > to trigger a sample! each beer bottle wil have different ammount
      > of
      > > water in it to give them all different pitches! now i need a
      > patch
      > > which will first measure the pitch so i know wat pitch to assign
      > to
      > > what sample! and secondly i need the patch to have a trigger
      > that
      > > wen it recognizes the pitch it will recognize and trigger the
      > > sample it has been assigned too! so pretty much use the beer
      > > bottles as a drum kit! wen i tap a bottle the microphone will
      > send
      > > a signal through max to trigger a sample!!
      > >
      > > who can help me??
      > >
      >
      >
    • Jun 18 2007 | 7:36 pm
      my condescending tone was accompanied by the only advice to the student which pointed him in a concrete direction besides 'read the tutorials' or 'go get fiddle~.' i gave him advice.
      i do not retract my words at all. i made fun of him, yes, but i also gave him some pretty valuable advice: break down the task, use this object and this object.
      we see this again and again: students posting panicked requests for others to write their patches. it should not be coddled. smack them upside the head for being such catastrophic dumbasses, then point them in the right direction. that's my pedagogic philosophy right there, in a nutshell, when confronted with student activity like this (and i've seen it many times):
      1) you're a flipping dumbass
      2) here's how to fix that state of affairs if you really care
      3) don't bother me again if you don't.
      it's worked for me for five years of teaching max. and my teaching ratings are consistently high.
    • Jun 18 2007 | 7:56 pm
      help!!!! joshua!!!!
      i need to drink 10 bottles of beer but there is no beer in my house anymore!!!!
      can you buy me some????
      -professor 110
    • Jun 18 2007 | 7:59 pm
      > break it down. make a patch which acts as control (good numbers from
      > beer bottles) and a patch that acts as playback (samples played when
      > you provide a bang or #s.)
      Actually, if you look at the original posting, it would
      appear that the assignment itself is quite well broken
      down into its component parts if you parse the original
      sentences. That would, I think, be a great way to approach
      the problem - decide which objects are right for which
      tasks.
    • Jun 18 2007 | 8:19 pm
      I agree that it's enormously frustrating for a teacher to see students
      take this tack. My personal favorite is the shoddily-constructed final
      project that's practically copied from my in-class files accompanied by
      a note more or less of the construction: "It was hard. I tried. Oh
      well." Two out of three ain't bad...
      Some points for those of us who teach Max that might be useful: (or
      mere pontifications...)
      - It's important that we let our students know the appropriate manner
      to use the forum. Directing students to the "How to Ask Questions the
      Smart Way" article is a good first step towards making sure that their
      questions get answered.
      - Let your students know that you are a member of the forum and see
      the posts. Cheating online is the same as cheating with classmates and
      is subject to the institution's academic honor code which can often be
      severe.
      - I think it's also important that students be reminded that if they're
      struggling, they should talk to their instructor as soon as possible,
      as he/she will be able to address both their question as well as some
      larger conceptual or programming issues that are causing trouble.
      There's definitely no substitute to watching someone work so you can
      see where the chain breaks down, and the further they fall behind, the
      less I can do about it.
      Also, can anyone recommend a very, very simple online introduction to
      programmatic problem-solving? I think learning how to break down
      problems into smaller ones is really important, and it'd be nice if
      someone has come up with an elegant way to teach this already.
      Peter McCulloch
      On Jun 18, 2007, at 3:36 PM, joshua goldberg wrote:
      >
      > my condescending tone was accompanied by the only advice to the
      > student which pointed him in a concrete direction besides 'read the
      > tutorials' or 'go get fiddle~.' i gave him advice.
      >
      > i do not retract my words at all. i made fun of him, yes, but i also
      > gave him some pretty valuable advice: break down the task, use this
      > object and this object.
      >
      > we see this again and again: students posting panicked requests for
      > others to write their patches. it should not be coddled. smack them
      > upside the head for being such catastrophic dumbasses, then point them
      > in the right direction. that's my pedagogic philosophy right there,
      > in a nutshell, when confronted with student activity like this (and
      > i've seen it many times):
      >
      > 1) you're a flipping dumbass
      > 2) here's how to fix that state of affairs if you really care
      > 3) don't bother me again if you don't.
      >
      > it's worked for me for five years of teaching max. and my teaching
      > ratings are consistently high.
      >
      >
      www.petermcculloch.com
    • Jun 18 2007 | 8:34 pm
      > Also, can anyone recommend a very, very simple online introduction to
      > programmatic problem-solving?
      I am shameless in harping on this during the Max beginner-only
      workshops, and I am told that some number of my students have
      found it useful:
      Almost every single Max problem breaks down into three bits:
      a. The Max code that does the work you want in the end will
      expect some kind of message that tells it what to do. You
      need to know what that message IS.
      b. At some point, there's something someplace in your
      patch that is spitting out or generating control data.
      A video camera, a MIDI keyboard, your computer keyboard,
      a little Max applet that calculates a Navier-Stokes
      equation, whatever. You need to understand what form that
      output takes. Is it a stream of numbers? Is is a bunch of
      lists? Is it data from a serial port? Does it come from a
      bunch of places? One of the things that you need to know
      has to do with what those messages are, and how Max does
      what it does. Read the Overview chapter in the Fundamentals
      manual. Read "How MSP Works" and the Audio I/O chapter in
      the MSP tutorial. Ditto the "What is a matrix?" and opening
      tutorials in Jitter. If you don't know that stuff, you'll be
      making all kinds of mistakes all the time you can avoid
      with a little effort.
      c. Finally, the question for you and every other schlub in
      the Max world is: "How to I take the messages from the
      start end of the chain [camera/keyboard] I am getting
      and put them in a form that the Max objects at the end of
      my patch chain will understand?" Not only is that THE THING
      THAT EVERYONE DOES ALL THE TIME, what you wind up with as
      a result will, in time, become part of another chain of
      Max things that will have you asking questions a., b., and
      c., all over again.
    • Jun 18 2007 | 9:15 pm
      I don't think that the question is about how to solve problems in
      Max, but rather strategies for how one looks at an aesthetic problem
      and turns it into a soluble computer problem. How to turn an idea
      into a question, and how to answer a question logically.
      So, how to identify what the parts of the problem are, and what kinds
      of mechanisms exist for dealing with them, presuming general
      computer, but non-programmer, knowledge.
      I would love to have a document like this to give to my students, as
      well. It's the most challenging part of teaching Max to creative
      people, IMHO.
      jb
      Am 18.06.2007 um 22:34 schrieb Gregory Taylor:
      >> Also, can anyone recommend a very, very simple online introduction to
      >> programmatic problem-solving?
      >
      > I am shameless in harping on this during the Max beginner-only
      > workshops, and I am told that some number of my students have
      > found it useful:
      >
      > Almost every single Max problem breaks down into three bits:
    • Jun 18 2007 | 9:38 pm
    • Jun 19 2007 | 2:41 am
      go down to the store, you flipping dumbass. or write a patch that
      orders beer.
      extra credit for using 242.currency.
      On Jun 18, 2007, at 3:56 PM, Roman Thilenius wrote:
      >
      >
      > help!!!! joshua!!!!
      > i need to drink 10 bottles of beer but there is no beer in my house
      > anymore!!!!
      > can you buy me some????
      >
      >
      > -professor 110
      >
    • Jun 19 2007 | 3:00 am
      finding the pitch estimator patch and sample playing patches were easy i knew how to do that already!
      My main issue is linkin both up so wen the assigned pitch is played, max and sfplay recognises it and triggers the sample assigned to the pitch! thats what i mainly needed help with!
      any ideas people??
      thanks for the ppl who helped and f**k all the ppl who were rude!!!
    • Jun 19 2007 | 3:51 am
      > thanks for the ppl who helped and f**k all the ppl who were rude!!!
      It would be good to read the tutorials. You will find objects that
      look for specific values and trigger actions based on that. There's
      lots and lots of ways to do this, for instance. Also, check out the
      Max object thesaurus in the documentation. It's a good way of finding
      objects without having to guess. But again, do the Max tutorials 1-20.
      The answers are there.
      You'll probably notice that fiddle~ isn't outputting a round number.
      For example, 71.05 and 70.95 will probably sound like the same pitch
      (C#). Here, you'll need to round the value so that the values snap to
      pitches, rather than microtones. That way instead of having to look
      for hundreds of continuous values you can look for a few discrete
      values.
      Peter McCulloch
    • Jun 19 2007 | 5:53 am
      > My main issue is linkin both up so wen the assigned pitch is played, max and sfplay recognises it and triggers the sample assigned to the pitch! thats what i mainly needed help with!
      There are several ways to do that kind of thing. I think some
      serious time with the tutorials - in particular, learning
      how to route and store and match data - will do what you
      need. In particular, setting up the pitch detection portion
      of the patch to work with data in a *range* is a good idea,
      I think. Similarly, data storage objects like table or coll
      are useful for mapping incoming data to choose other data.
      > thanks for the ppl who helped and f**k all the ppl who were rude!!!
      For some people, asking everyone in the world to do
      your class assignment for you would be seen as rude.
      Almost everyone here has directed to you to some portion
      of your solution. F-bombing the list is a great way to
      assure that your source of help dries up. That choice is
      and remains your own, of course.
    • Jun 19 2007 | 9:42 am
      > f**k all the ppl who were rude!!!
      beware of the recursion!
    • Jun 19 2007 | 1:27 pm
      max is terrible for that stuff. we should count ourselves lucky.
      On Jun 19, 2007, at 5:42 AM, nesa wrote:
      >
      >> f**k all the ppl who were rude!!!
      >
      > beware of the recursion!
      >
    • Jun 19 2007 | 4:21 pm
      Dude. Exclamation points.
      b
      On Jun 18, 2007, at 8:00 PM, pdotr wrote:
      >
      > finding the pitch estimator patch and sample playing patches were
      > easy i knew how to do that already!
      > My main issue is linkin both up so wen the assigned pitch is
      > played, max and sfplay recognises it and triggers the sample
      > assigned to the pitch! thats what i mainly needed help with!
      > any ideas people??
      > thanks for the ppl who helped and f**k all the ppl who were rude!!!
      barry threw
      composition : sound : programming
      http://www.barrythrew.com
      bthrew(at)gmail(dot)com
      857-544-3967
      And I know not if, save in this, such gift be allowed to man,
      That out of three sounds he frame, not a fourth sound, but a star.
      -Robert Browning
    • Jun 19 2007 | 4:27 pm
      This whole "stick and beer bottle" thing reminds me that the REAL godlike work's already been done, sans Max patch: first on a rather rare Ocora release from the 1980s called "Musiques Urbaines du Kinshasa", and - more recently and at popular prices - on the magnificent Crammed Discs release "Congotronics."
      When I heard the Congotronics release, I was stunned, since I thought I was the only radio person in existence who still played the old Ocora disc [which has only two really long pieces on it]. But the real gobsmacker is that one of the bands on that old Ocora disc is the SAME bunch - Konono No. 1., twenty-odd years later and still making that joyful fuzzed-out likembe noise.
      I know there's not a Max patch in sight, but if you don't know this disc, go find it. It's wonderful.
      (Oh - there's a second Congotronics release, too - with DVD footage. I prefer the first, but your mileage may vary....)
    • Jun 19 2007 | 5:00 pm
      I found that setting up a seperate group (google group or alternative) is a
      very succesful way of getting the students to help each other. It also give
      the teacher a good view of the communication process outside class (read as
      "evidence of communication"). The braver more experienced join the Max list
      but they also are keen to share with less technically equipped. I also use
      this to mail directly to them problem solving patches etc etc, but it
      creates a good internal learning culture and is special to them.
      beer o'clock I think, p
      On 19/06/07, Gregory Taylor wrote:
      >
      >
      > This whole "stick and beer bottle" think reminds me that the REAL godlike
      > work's already been done, sans Max patch: first on a rather rare Ocora
      > release from the 1980s called "Musiques Urbaines du Kinshasa", and - more
      > recently and at popular prices - on the magnificent Crammed Discs release
      > "Congotronics."
      >
      > http://www.crammed.be/craworld/crw27/press/press.htm
      >
      > When I heard the Congotronics release, I was stunned, since I tought I was
      > the only radio person in existence who still played the old Ocora disc
      > [which has only two really long pieces on it]. But the real gobsmacker is
      > that one of the bands on that old Ocora disc is the SAME bunch - Konono No.
      > 1., twenty-odd years later and still making that joyful fuzzed-out likembe
      > noise.
      >
      > I know there's not a Max patch in sight, but if you don't know this disc,
      > go find it. It's wonderful.
      > --
      > knowledge is not enough/science is not enough/Love is dreaming this
      > equation
      >
      --
      www.centuryofnoise.com
      www.perevillez.com
    • Jun 19 2007 | 5:23 pm
      “The Act of Drinking Beer with Friends Is the Highest Form of Art.”
      --Tom Marioni
      In this case, I think there are two questions, one about hardware and
      one about software. The first thing I would look at (IMHO) is what sort
      of hardware are you using? Are you just grabbing the whole mess from a
      single mic? Are you gonna go buy a MIDI drum brain and a bunch of
      piezos? Are you gonna use a multichannel audio interface and a bunch of
      microphones? And, of course, what sort of beer are we talking about,
      and will you be sharing it with others? Each of these hardware choices
      will require a different sort of software solution.
      Good luck with your studies.
      cheers,
      Andrew B.
    • Jun 19 2007 | 5:33 pm
      damn, wtf is this?
    • Jun 19 2007 | 5:38 pm
      buy me a keg and Ill make your patch
      no seriously I don't condone that..
      You guys remember a few months back when some dude posted "Ill pay 300 dollars to make my patch"
      Sometimes it suprises me.
      mostly not though.
      Anyways, my two cents. If your planning to do the multi input route Its gonna be expensive to have that many mics and a milti input soundcard.. or are you planning on one mic and the different pitches will just be the triggers?
    • Jun 19 2007 | 6:25 pm
    • Jun 19 2007 | 7:03 pm
      Hi dudes,
      Interesting discussion. Forgive me for being slightly OT, but I couldn't help but notice the high percentage of college professors that frequent this list, so maybe one of them might be able to tell me: What the devil is an F-Bomb, Greg?? Do I have to read the tutorials again to find out? I've done all of them, and all I found was a load of stuff about message passing and DSP but no mention of F-bombs. Has anybody written any F-bomb externals they could share with me? Or a perhaps a Pluggo VST that randomly spits out F-bombs in response to my crazed midi glove gesticulations?
      Also, what's 'f**k'? It's not in the dictionary, I've never heard it used in conversation either. It looks like 'fuck', only the 'u' and the 'c' that go between the 'f' and the 'k' have been replaced by two asterisks. I thought at first that route_dmb@hotmail.com might have really meant to say 'fuck', but then I remembered that the people on the Max forum are much too polite to use such a crude and base word as 'fuck' and would doubtless pour righteous scorn on the pleb who was ignorant enough to sully the forum with such an impious word. Indeed, if words such as 'fuck' are to be tolerated at all, it should only be in the context of the sort of inane discussions that are presumably taking place as we speak in some kind of Garage Band forum, and definitely not here on a list populated by polite and sophisticated people who would never use words like 'fuck', not even in jest or sandwiched between quotation marks that help educated people distinguish imported street slang from proper language.
      >> thanks for the ppl who helped and f**k all the ppl who were >rude!!!
      >
      >For some people, asking everyone in the world to do
      >your class assignment for you would be seen as rude.
      >Almost everyone here has directed to you to some portion
      >of your solution. F-bombing the list is a great way to
      >assure that your source of help dries up. That choice is
      >and remains your own, of course.
    • Jun 19 2007 | 10:03 pm
      Our signal to noise ratio is dropping around here. I've played my
      part in that.
      Let's all try and improve it.
      b
      On Jun 19, 2007, at 12:03 PM, AR wrote:
      >
      > Hi dudes,
      > Interesting discussion. Forgive me for being slightly OT, but I
      > couldn't help but notice the high percentage of college professors
      > that frequent this list, so maybe one of them might be able to tell
      > me: What the devil is an F-Bomb, Greg?? Do I have to read the
      > tutorials again to find out? I've done all of them, and all I found
      > was a load of stuff about message passing and DSP but no mention of
      > F-bombs. Has anybody written any F-bomb externals they could share
      > with me? Or a perhaps a Pluggo VST that randomly spits out F-bombs
      > in response to my crazed midi glove gesticulations?
      > Also, what's 'f**k'? It's not in the dictionary, I've never
      > heard it used in conversation either. It looks like 'fuck', only
      > the 'u' and the 'c' that go between the 'f' and the 'k' have been
      > replaced by two asterisks. I thought at first that
      > route_dmb@hotmail.com might have really meant to say 'fuck', but
      > then I remembered that the people on the Max forum are much too
      > polite to use such a crude and base word as 'fuck' and would
      > doubtless pour righteous scorn on the pleb who was ignorant enough
      > to sully the forum with such an impious word. Indeed, if words such
      > as 'fuck' are to be tolerated at all, it should only be in the
      > context of the sort of inane discussions that are presumably taking
      > place as we speak in some kind of Garage Band forum, and definitely
      > not here on a list populated by polite and sophisticated people who
      > would never use words like 'fuck', not even in jest or sandwiched
      > between quotation marks that help educated people distinguish
      > imported street slan!
      > g from proper language.
      >
      >
      >>> thanks for the ppl who helped and f**k all the ppl who were >rude!!!
      >>
      >> For some people, asking everyone in the world to do
      >> your class assignment for you would be seen as rude.
      >> Almost everyone here has directed to you to some portion
      >> of your solution. F-bombing the list is a great way to
      >> assure that your source of help dries up. That choice is
      >> and remains your own, of course.
      barry threw
      composition : sound : programming
      http://www.barrythrew.com
      bthrew(at)gmail(dot)com
      857-544-3967
      And I know not if, save in this, such gift be allowed to man,
      That out of three sounds he frame, not a fourth sound, but a star.
      -Robert Browning
    • Jun 19 2007 | 11:30 pm
      Quote: Axiom-Crux wrote on Tue, 19 June 2007 11:38
      ----------------------------------------------------
      > buy me a keg and Ill make your patch
      >
      > no seriously I don't condone that..
      >
      > You guys remember a few months back when some dude posted "Ill pay 300 dollars to make my patch"
      as far i got him that was a guy who simply wanted to have some custom composing software or audio effects made. such thing is not uncool to ask or anything, it was just somthing normal. ;)
    • Jun 20 2007 | 12:13 am
      >And, of course, what sort of beer are we talking about,
      >and will you be sharing it with others?
      he was going to fill the bottles with water.....
    • Jun 20 2007 | 1:22 pm
    • Jun 20 2007 | 2:05 pm
      Reccomendation for best post of 2007 award
      Quote: music tree wrote on Tue, 19 June 2007 13:03
      ----------------------------------------------------
      > Hi dudes,
      > Interesting discussion. Forgive me for being slightly OT, but I couldn't help but notice the high percentage of college professors that frequent this list, so maybe one of them might be able to tell me: What the devil is an F-Bomb, Greg?? Do I have to read the tutorials again to find out? I've done all of them, and all I found was a load of stuff about message passing and DSP but no mention of F-bombs. Has anybody written any F-bomb externals they could share with me? Or a perhaps a Pluggo VST that randomly spits out F-bombs in response to my crazed midi glove gesticulations?
      > Also, what's 'f**k'? It's not in the dictionary, I've never heard it used in conversation either. It looks like 'fuck', only the 'u' and the 'c' that go between the 'f' and the 'k' have been replaced by two asterisks. I thought at first that route_dmb@hotmail.com might have really meant to say 'fuck', but then I remembered that the people on the Max forum are much too polite to use such a crude and base word as 'fuck' and would doubtless pour righteous scorn on the pleb who was ignorant enough to sully the forum with such an impious word. Indeed, if words such as 'fuck' are to be tolerated at all, it should only be in the context of the sort of inane discussions that are presumably taking place as we speak in some kind of Garage Band forum, and definitely not here on a list populated by polite and sophisticated people who would never use words like 'fuck', not even in jest or sandwiched between quotation marks that help educated people distinguish imported street slang from proper language.
    • Jun 20 2007 | 2:56 pm
      "Piezos are really cheap for example. Combined with an Arduino board
      it won't cost more than 50 euros or so. This would make things quite
      easy.'
      I was going to reccomend that till I realized it was even more technical then the route he was planning... and if hes having trouble using bonk and sfplay then an arduno would be even more challenging.
    • Jun 20 2007 | 2:59 pm
      S**t this discussion is F**in crazy! I might just d**p my d**k in the m**h p******s D**E
    • Jun 20 2007 | 3:10 pm
      only 40 results, so no need to worry about our hygiene.
      my favorite post is #38:
      "bah, fuck it, I don't see where my zip went anywhere!"
    • Jun 20 2007 | 5:45 pm
      Roman Thilenius wrote:
      >
      > http://www.cycling74.com/cgi-bin/searchsite.pl?SearchText=fuck
      >
      >
      > only 40 results, so no need to worry about our hygiene.
      >
      >
      > my favorite post is #38:
      >
      > "bah, fuck it, I don't see where my zip went anywhere!"
      83 results if you use the forum's search mechanism:
      We truncate the site search's forum results to 40 because at the time,
      it was a pain in the ass to merge the search results from the various
      tech we use to power our site, especially on the forum side. One day I
      will revisit the site search and make it more useful.
      Personally, my favorite is the first result on the third page of the
      forum results (from the list in 2001):
      "fuck sysex nevermind ... i give up"
      A more common sentiment was certainly never expressed.
      My apologies for the noise.
      cheers
      w
    • Jun 22 2007 | 9:58 am
      MJ schrieb:
      > he was going to fill the bottles with water.....
      That will sound definitely better than beer, but there is always a risk
      of getting drunk while setting up that piece...
      --
      Stefan Tiedje------------x-------
      --_____-----------|--------------
      --(_|_ ----|-----|-----()-------
      -- _|_)----|-----()--------------
      ----------()--------www.ccmix.com
    • Jun 28 2007 | 8:36 pm
      On searching the forum for profanity, Wallace Winfrey wrote:
      > Personally, my favorite is the first result on the third page of the
      > forum results (from the list in 2001):
      >
      > "fuck sysex nevermind ... i give up"
      >
      > A more common sentiment was certainly never expressed.
      >
      > My apologies for the noise.
      >
      That is not noise at all. Words of pure wisdom. If only all HW devs had
      the good sense to pay attention -
      Beautiful and relatively new boxes like the DSI Evolver and the Korg
      PadKontrol still need it, for some Godforsaken reason...
      Andreas.
    • Jun 29 2007 | 10:53 am
      fuck sysex...... classic. oh how I have spoketh those words on many moonlit nights.