My Soul Seeks Nato


    Mar 25 2006 | 10:51 am
    Dear Max/MSP Users,
    I am an intern working for an organization of which you may have heard
    called the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. We are an
    international organization for collective security established in
    1949, with headquarters located in Brussels (I'm writing out of the
    Chicago office now; not quite so glamorous!).
    We have a very important meeting scheduled on the 28th of April this
    year with another similar organization, at which we are to deliver a
    "multimedia" presentation. I have been placed in charge of developing
    this presentation. Needless to say, it is a project of incredible
    political sensitivity and the rest of my career pretty much rests upon
    its success (No pressure, though!!!).
    The topic of our meeting with OPEC is "Radical Software and
    Hyperthreaded Digilogical Matrices: Patch-Programmable Software
    Systems for Real-Time Audio and Video." For this presentation, I plan
    to use materials that I and other interns have collected from
    interviews with artist/programmers who have developed
    patch-programmable systems for real-time audio/video performances.
    For this presentation, I would like to use the software nato.0+55.
    Initially, my team proposed a budget addendum for a time machine in
    order to travel back to 2000 and purchase this software from Netochka
    Nezvanova. However, that budgetary addendum was eliminated in a later
    stage of review. I am now left with only a month to acquire this
    software and no time machine with which to do so!!!
    I am writing to implore the members of this listserv to help me
    acquire this software nato.0+55 by any means necessary.
    Thank You in advance for your help!

    • Mar 25 2006 | 11:31 am
      Contact me off line. I don't have NATO but I do have the time machine build
      entirely in Max 2.5.
      Cheers,
      Gary Lee Nelson
      TIMARA Department
      Oberlin College
      www.timara.oberlin.edu/GaryLeeNelson
    • Mar 25 2006 | 12:23 pm
      On 25 Mar 2006, at 11:31, Gary Lee Nelson wrote:
      > I don't have NATO but I do have the time machine build
      > entirely in Max 2.5.
      Sure, but how on earth is anyone expected to get hold of a copy of
      Max 2.5?
      Oh ... I get it.
      nick rothwell -- composition, systems, performance -- http://
      www.cassiel.com
    • Mar 25 2006 | 12:57 pm
      my copy is available. terms to be negotiated.
      but you are still going to need that time machine.
      nato has a learning curve. in order to get your project
      finished on April 28, 2006, you better start working on it
      before the end of last year.
      -jennek
    • Mar 25 2006 | 1:51 pm
      On 3/25/06 7:23 AM, "Nick Rothwell" wrote:
      > Sure, but how on earth is anyone expected to get hold of a copy of
      > Max 2.5?
      Got that on diskettes. Still use it with a 520 powerbook for some special
      needs.
      Cheers,
      Gary Lee Nelson
      TIMARA Department
      Oberlin College
      www.timara.oberlin.edu/GaryLeeNelson
    • Mar 25 2006 | 1:58 pm
      Dear Microsound Artists,
      I am working for a nuclear powerplant outside
      Three Mile Island. perhaps you heard of it due to the
      accident at the number 2 reactor.
      We have a very important meeting on the 31st of April
      at which we are to deliver a "multimedia" presentation.
      it is a project of major global concern and my career
      pretty much depends on its success.
      For the presentation i would like to use Native Instruments
      Reaktor but our budget will not allow for its purchase.
      I am writing to members of this listserv to help me
      acquire this software Reaktor by any means necessary.
      Thank you in advance for the chuckle!
      . 1001
    • Mar 25 2006 | 2:20 pm
      dear fallingforward refugees,
      I am working for a chokolate company in wiesbaden,
      germany. perhaps you heard of it due to their
      schmunzelhase.
      We have a very important easterfest on the 31st
      of April at which we are to deliver 1,000,000
      chokolate schmunzelhase to our customer ALDI.
      it is a project of major global concern and my
      distribution contract with ALDI pretty much depends
      on its success.
      For the schmunzelhase i would like to use goldfoil
      from the EMS goldfoil reverb series only, but our
      budget will not allow for the purchase of 1,000,000
      EMS goldfoil reverberation units.
      I am writing to members of this listserv to help me
      acquire goldfoil of this or similar type by any means
      necessary.
      Thank you in advance
      - natinka nutella 110
    • Mar 25 2006 | 3:09 pm
      BTW... My Max 2.5 time machine is powered by an antiorp drive fueled by spam
      email.
      Cheers,
      Gary Lee Nelson
      TIMARA Department
      Oberlin College
      www.timara.oberlin.edu/GaryLeeNelson
    • Mar 25 2006 | 7:12 pm
      Nothing is too Wonderful Too Be True - Mikey Faraday
      Are U an ULtra sAnitary mammilian eXpreSsion System?
      I got it all.... Laptop w/ S'ware & the joke........but I'm asumming this is an ultra expressive noir flavored hokum.
      Yes? _Teflon
      The best thing about satire is that someone will take it seriously
      -Voltaire (I think.)
    • Mar 25 2006 | 10:17 pm
      Dear fallingfork refugees,
      I am working for a plastic utensil factory in Grz,
      near Lnz. Perhaps you have heard of it, "Grzy Linty
      Utensils".
      I have designed a sound installation requiring
      1,000,000 broken fork tines; the grant was secured on
      the basis of my being able to obtain the tines from
      the reject hoppers at Linty, my employer.
      Unfortunately, the management has enforced a new
      policy of 100% recycling of all waste plastic, and has
      revoked all its prior commitments to support for
      artists. I cannot afford to purchase 250,000 plastic
      forks to create the broken tines for my work, so I'm
      reaching out to YOU.
      Please send my any tines, or any information you can
      provide on obtaining fork tines by any means
      necessary.
      Thank you sincerely,
      YaYa Pastorius (no relation)
    • Mar 26 2006 | 9:13 am
      Is this a warez request ?
    • Mar 26 2006 | 1:20 pm
    • Mar 27 2006 | 9:08 am
      John Nowak wrote:
      >> thread closed for beeing too artistic.
      >
      >
      > Oh come now, I was just about to start having fun!
      thread opened again for being enough artofficial...
      --
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      Stefan Tiedje
      Klanggestalter
      Electronic Composition
      &
      Improvisation
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      /// _/)/ )))))
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      94320 Thiais, France
      Phone at CCMIX +33-1-57 42 91 09
    • Mar 27 2006 | 10:12 am
      On 3/27/06, Stefan Tiedje wrote:
      > John Nowak wrote:
      > > thread closed for beeing too artistic.
      >
      > thread opened again for being enough artofficial...
      Officiality is obviously no longer at stake. May I direct you to the
      NATO FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) from our website at
      www.nato.int:
      ---------
      Q: Does NATO have it's own real-time audio/video performance software?
      A: All member countries that participate in the real-time audio/video
      aspect of the Alliance contribute software and equipment, which
      together constitute the integrated real-time audio/video performance
      system of the Alliance. This software and equipment remains under
      national command and control until a time when they are required by
      NATO a specific purpose (i.e. a "multimedia" presentation). NATO,
      however, does possess some common capabilities owned and operated by
      the Alliance, such as the Dervish video performance system and
      Max/MSP/Jitter.
      ---------
      So as you can see, your member nation has committed to this enterprise
      on your behalf.
      Thank You
    • Mar 27 2006 | 10:16 am
      Hello, Gary
      On 3/25/06, Gary Lee Nelson wrote:
      > Contact me off line. I don't have NATO but I do have the time machine build
      > entirely in Max 2.5.
      Thank you for your help.
      Your time-machine may in fact be our saviour. As I mentioned before,
      we initially planned to travel back in time to 1997->2000 to contact
      Natochka Nezkanova and secure the nato.0+55 software. However, this
      plan was excised from the budget for this meeting. We have access to
      the Max/MSP software because of David Zicarelli's personal assocation
      with the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and due to his continuing
      support of our activities I am confident that we can secure version
      2.5 or whatever version your time-machine is coded in.
      > Cheers,
      > Gary Lee Nelson
      > TIMARA Department
      > Oberlin College
      > www.timara.oberlin.edu/GaryLeeNelson
      Thank you and TIMARA for your continuing support of NATO
    • Mar 27 2006 | 10:26 am
      On 3/26/06, f.e wrote:
      > Is this a warez request ?
      I don't think I understand. This is a request for assistance in
      securing the software nato.0+55 as per the following item in our FAQ
      (Frequently Asked Questions) at www.nato.int:
      Q: How much does NATO cost and who pays for it?
      A: NATO is an intergovernmental organisation to which member nations
      allocate the resources needed to enable it to function on a day-to-day
      basis. There are four budgets: one civil, two military and one for
      multimedia/real-time performance software. Each NATO member country
      pays an amount into the budgets based on an agreed cost-sharing
      formula. Additionally, citizens of member nations provide software for
      real-time multimedia performance as requested. Taken together, these
      budgets represent less than half of one percent of the total defence
      and software budget expenditures of NATO countries.
      Thank You
    • Mar 27 2006 | 12:04 pm
    • Mar 30 2006 | 4:13 am
      Hello, Jennek
      On 3/29/06, jennek geels wrote:
      > >> my copy is available. terms to be negotiated.
      > The software cannot be transferred through email.
      > You will have to direct a beam of hard currency to my studio,
      > which I will modulate as to send the software in the opposite direction.
      > during the transfer of the software, you must not interrupt the beam,
      > or the transfer will fail.
      I will have to ask my superiors about the beam. I don't believe that
      we have this technology.
      > I have to remind you of Rambouillet and the role NATO played there.
      > the Rambouillet issue needs to be addressed before you will be allowed
      > to use te software. This will involve a negotiation with the rambouillet
      > server administered by Netochka. If the server declines to mediate
      > the transfer,
      > there is little we can do.
      Thanks for your insight here - I will be sure to add it as a bullet
      point in my presentation. However, I think that this has been
      resolved:
      """
      6(a) NATO shall be immune from all legal process, whether civil,
      administrative, or criminal.
      """
      Thank You!
      -----