My Soul Seeks Nato
Dear Max/MSP Users,
I am an intern working for an organization of which you may have heard
called the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. We are an
international organization for collective security established in
1949, with headquarters located in Brussels (I’m writing out of the
Chicago office now; not quite so glamorous!).
We have a very important meeting scheduled on the 28th of April this
year with another similar organization, at which we are to deliver a
"multimedia" presentation. I have been placed in charge of developing
this presentation. Needless to say, it is a project of incredible
political sensitivity and the rest of my career pretty much rests upon
its success (No pressure, though!!!).
The topic of our meeting with OPEC is "Radical Software and
Hyperthreaded Digilogical Matrices: Patch-Programmable Software
Systems for Real-Time Audio and Video." For this presentation, I plan
to use materials that I and other interns have collected from
interviews with artist/programmers who have developed
patch-programmable systems for real-time audio/video performances.
For this presentation, I would like to use the software nato.0+55.
Initially, my team proposed a budget addendum for a time machine in
order to travel back to 2000 and purchase this software from Netochka
Nezvanova. However, that budgetary addendum was eliminated in a later
stage of review. I am now left with only a month to acquire this
software and no time machine with which to do so!!!
I am writing to implore the members of this listserv to help me
acquire this software nato.0+55 by any means necessary.
Thank You in advance for your help!
On 25 Mar 2006, at 11:31, Gary Lee Nelson wrote:
> I don’t have NATO but I do have the time machine build
> entirely in Max 2.5.
Sure, but how on earth is anyone expected to get hold of a copy of
Oh … I get it.
nick rothwell — composition, systems, performance — http://
my copy is available. terms to be negotiated.
but you are still going to need that time machine.
nato has a learning curve. in order to get your project
finished on April 28, 2006, you better start working on it
before the end of last year.
On 3/25/06 7:23 AM, "Nick Rothwell"
> Sure, but how on earth is anyone expected to get hold of a copy of
> Max 2.5?
Got that on diskettes. Still use it with a 520 powerbook for some special
Gary Lee Nelson
Dear Microsound Artists,
I am working for a nuclear powerplant outside
Three Mile Island. perhaps you heard of it due to the
accident at the number 2 reactor.
We have a very important meeting on the 31st of April
at which we are to deliver a "multimedia" presentation.
it is a project of major global concern and my career
pretty much depends on its success.
For the presentation i would like to use Native Instruments
Reaktor but our budget will not allow for its purchase.
I am writing to members of this listserv to help me
acquire this software Reaktor by any means necessary.
Thank you in advance for the chuckle!
dear fallingforward refugees,
I am working for a chokolate company in wiesbaden,
germany. perhaps you heard of it due to their
We have a very important easterfest on the 31st
of April at which we are to deliver 1,000,000
chokolate schmunzelhase to our customer ALDI.
it is a project of major global concern and my
distribution contract with ALDI pretty much depends
on its success.
For the schmunzelhase i would like to use goldfoil
from the EMS goldfoil reverb series only, but our
budget will not allow for the purchase of 1,000,000
EMS goldfoil reverberation units.
I am writing to members of this listserv to help me
acquire goldfoil of this or similar type by any means
Thank you in advance
– natinka nutella 110
Nothing is too Wonderful Too Be True – Mikey Faraday
Are U an ULtra sAnitary mammilian eXpreSsion System?
I got it all…. Laptop w/ S’ware & the joke……..but I’m asumming this is an ultra expressive noir flavored hokum.
The best thing about satire is that someone will take it seriously
-Voltaire (I think.)
Dear fallingfork refugees,
I am working for a plastic utensil factory in Grz,
near Lnz. Perhaps you have heard of it, "Grzy Linty
I have designed a sound installation requiring
1,000,000 broken fork tines; the grant was secured on
the basis of my being able to obtain the tines from
the reject hoppers at Linty, my employer.
Unfortunately, the management has enforced a new
policy of 100% recycling of all waste plastic, and has
revoked all its prior commitments to support for
artists. I cannot afford to purchase 250,000 plastic
forks to create the broken tines for my work, so I’m
reaching out to YOU.
Please send my any tines, or any information you can
provide on obtaining fork tines by any means
Thank you sincerely,
YaYa Pastorius (no relation)
Is this a warez request ?
John Nowak wrote:
>> thread closed for beeing too artistic.
> Oh come now, I was just about to start having fun!
thread opened again for being enough artofficial…
   
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/// _/)/ )))))
14, Av. Pr. Franklin Roosevelt,
94320 Thiais, France
Phone at CCMIX +33-1-57 42 91 09
On 3/27/06, Stefan Tiedje
> John Nowak wrote:
> > thread closed for beeing too artistic.
> thread opened again for being enough artofficial…
Officiality is obviously no longer at stake. May I direct you to the
NATO FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) from our website at
Q: Does NATO have it’s own real-time audio/video performance software?
A: All member countries that participate in the real-time audio/video
aspect of the Alliance contribute software and equipment, which
together constitute the integrated real-time audio/video performance
system of the Alliance. This software and equipment remains under
national command and control until a time when they are required by
NATO a specific purpose (i.e. a "multimedia" presentation). NATO,
however, does possess some common capabilities owned and operated by
the Alliance, such as the Dervish video performance system and
So as you can see, your member nation has committed to this enterprise
on your behalf.
On 3/25/06, Gary Lee Nelson
> Contact me off line. I don’t have NATO but I do have the time machine build
> entirely in Max 2.5.
Thank you for your help.
Your time-machine may in fact be our saviour. As I mentioned before,
we initially planned to travel back in time to 1997->2000 to contact
Natochka Nezkanova and secure the nato.0+55 software. However, this
plan was excised from the budget for this meeting. We have access to
the Max/MSP software because of David Zicarelli’s personal assocation
with the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and due to his continuing
support of our activities I am confident that we can secure version
2.5 or whatever version your time-machine is coded in.
> Gary Lee Nelson
> TIMARA Department
> Oberlin College
Thank you and TIMARA for your continuing support of NATO
On 3/26/06, f.e
> Is this a warez request ?
I don’t think I understand. This is a request for assistance in
securing the software nato.0+55 as per the following item in our FAQ
(Frequently Asked Questions) at http://www.nato.int:
Q: How much does NATO cost and who pays for it?
A: NATO is an intergovernmental organisation to which member nations
allocate the resources needed to enable it to function on a day-to-day
basis. There are four budgets: one civil, two military and one for
multimedia/real-time performance software. Each NATO member country
pays an amount into the budgets based on an agreed cost-sharing
formula. Additionally, citizens of member nations provide software for
real-time multimedia performance as requested. Taken together, these
budgets represent less than half of one percent of the total defence
and software budget expenditures of NATO countries.
On 3/29/06, jennek geels
> >> my copy is available. terms to be negotiated.
> The software cannot be transferred through email.
> You will have to direct a beam of hard currency to my studio,
> which I will modulate as to send the software in the opposite direction.
> during the transfer of the software, you must not interrupt the beam,
> or the transfer will fail.
I will have to ask my superiors about the beam. I don’t believe that
we have this technology.
> I have to remind you of Rambouillet and the role NATO played there.
> the Rambouillet issue needs to be addressed before you will be allowed
> to use te software. This will involve a negotiation with the rambouillet
> server administered by Netochka. If the server declines to mediate
> the transfer,
> there is little we can do.
Thanks for your insight here – I will be sure to add it as a bullet
point in my presentation. However, I think that this has been
6(a) NATO shall be immune from all legal process, whether civil,
administrative, or criminal.