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axers fall

I'm kinda lost and I need help. any suggestions?

I'm kinda lost and I need help. any suggestions?

Here's my brief resume :

https://axersfall.github.io/

how-to-find-a-job

it's a game of luck to expect much to come from forum posts and online resumes(online is a confusing experience, you can't expect people to take you seriously(unless you're a web-designer), if your entire body of work is in just a few online spaces), it's best to get out there and get to know some people you'd like to work for, in person. whatever you'd like, just go and talk to people and explain to them what you can do: museums, local artists, companies that could use proprietary audio or video tools(but make sure you cater your offering to what they actually need, not what you can do in general), and  put your own art/music/whatever out there in a form that is more cohesive as a work of art, rather than just tutorials and explanations of things that are already in the max docs, or similar to what's already created in m4L plugins.

people need to either see you 'in practice'(creating teaching materials is not 'in practice' unless you're already a teacher at an institution and have gotten to know what the students in that particular context actually need), or they need to get to know your personality 'in person'.

most of all, on your resume, you write "but I quit making music a long time ago"... so what are you doing now with all this? why bother with any of this if the thing you're trying to do is explain how to make music, when you, yourself have quit making music?

first and foremost, erase that line. no one needs to know that... if it is actually true(but 'music' is a very subjective term, too, anything can be considered 'music' by both the artist and audience who perceives it that way... i could easily claim, that this long-winded, rambling post is a form of music i wrote for you: it is designed to resonate a type of 'sound' within your heart and mind, as it does within mine).

same thing with anything in your patches that explains that you're 'not an expert'(i downloaded one of your fft patches where you say you're not an fft-expert... it's better not to put anything like that at all, and instead, keep practicing making art with that patch so that you at least show that you're continually 

to become an expert). hint: experts are never finished achieving expertise, being an expert is a continual practice of both learning and doing, in other words, never tiring and eternally continuing on to become more and more expert at it. 

try putting away the need to create more explanations, and just putting into more and more practice, your own usage of the tools you've created so far... keep posting the actual results, in musical or artistic form everywhere so that people can get to know your music or art, itself... if they're impressed with it, then you can create more explanations(hopefully by then, you'll discover you enjoy just making art more than explanations and you might not even bother making explanations anymore)... if they're not impressed with it, and you feel hurt by that, consider this a challenge to your spiritual growth: you need to make art for yourself, not for the narcissistic win of other people's approval and appreciation, so keep making that art until all the insecure desires for acknowledgment fall away, and it simply resonates strongly with you, then people will just gravitate towards you naturally - 

also, rethink what you're doing: did you 

 quit making music? or are you in a phase of suffering through figuring out the kind of music(or art) you'll make next? why should people trust you on music-making tools if it seems like whatever you've done so far, has only led you to quit making music?

 to be an act of sacrifice through suffering, then coming out of that suffering with an alchemical change in your spirit, finally, showing that change within artful expression that puts into practice, all this knowledge you've gained from all that suffering and transformation. it can take a long time for some people(i'm probably the greatest failure in this particular space, 

, i keep deleting my music and max patches in order to keep redefining until i find something that resonates... so far, after 30 years of max experience, i have the mind and experience of a 2-year old child still pooping his diapers and crying about it all the time 💩😭👶... but i'm still going to keep trying 💪, not to explain how i do things for others to learn from, but to actually practice, and suffer, and grow, and change myself into the performing-artist i always longed to be, no matter what the odds, insecurities, and failures so far).

jobs don't come from creating explanations of things you don't want to do anymore.

jobs come from people trusting you because they want to collaborate, experience, and win from the 

they see throughout all your creative victories...

...and unfortunately, victories don't come from job searches, either, they come from real-world suffering and transformation(if you need a job, just go out and get any job, doesn't need to be with Max if you're still confused about what you actually want to create with Max). these victories can then become artistic victories if you practice and learn to frame/express that well enough to resonate with others.

so get out there and create some victories for yourself: 

keep your head up, and keep resonating within yourself until it attracts the victories you seek.

Thanks for your reply, you really write a lot suggestion to me. but I think I need time to consume that...

I'm sure you will find excellent advice here, so although I could go on forever about stuff like this I'll try to keep it short. 

First of all you have to understand that you have a SUPERPOWER. In reality you can make a computer do anything. This takes skill and determination but once you realize that, you can relax a little. Secondly, just to echo 

I'm certain there is a community of people who will really value this superpower but you have to put your skills at their service. Of course when I started programming I wanted to make my dream sequencer or my dream crazy synth but when I got the chance to build stuff (tools and systems) for collaboration and projects involving other people I really got things going. Now I pay the bills with the superpower and even better: get to meet and collaborate with awesome people. 

So go to the artists, theater people, musicians, light designers, graphic designers, venue owners, pet shop owners, or whatever and find out what they need. Good luck!

Thanks for you advice!!! in conclusion, seems like it takes time+practice+collabrations+a little bit of luck. 

How to find a job?

I'm kinda lost and I need help. any suggestions?

Here's my brief resume :

https://axersfall.github.io/